home again home again

fuck.

thank god i'm home. i appreciate all the thigns that surround me. the "stuff" that ami says I have too much of. Perhaps, perhaps he is right (no, he is, i know it).

i'm drunk and i feel like staying this way for a long time. the philosophical side of me is long asleep. making sense of things is past. why why why? there are many things that i am good at, why must i be good at everything? relationships with men = no good. from here on in i must remember that. remember.

i give up. for a while now I will give up. I have given up. that's just the way it is. i will rally, i'm sure. but for now: forget it. i'm tired.