bigger dances

the square dance is getting bigger. i got a hit today of just how big the world is. the form of measurement: people. the mind-blowing bit: how each one is so different. i know this all seems so lame and first year philosophy. but this is how it goes: if i think about all the complications of me -- the paradoxes and contradictions within the delicate system of me. ok: so get a good picture of that (you can imagine you instead of me). NOW multiphy the complexity of that system by say, SIX BILLION. you see what i'm getting at? it's impossible to hold inside your brain. to me, it just looks like overlapping scribbles that become -- blackness: dark, opaque and full.

Joelysa and i had a long slow chat and chew and told secrets and shared stories and the places of our lives. then i saw raugi, sandi, lyndsay and lennox. lennox is soooo smart. she kissed me. i melted.

then i came home and had a mental debate with myself. now i'm going to bed.

(sorry, this one is boring. well, aside from that one big idea off the top -- but its not a new idea, so i don't think it counts!)