Dear Kevin

We miss you. Already. Maiko has been complaining about not hearing from you. I'm assuming that you've given her a call by now. At least I hope so, or else you're in big trouble!

I wanted to assure you after the outpouring of... what?... emotion in last night's post. these emotions are an ocean that i ride upon, sometimes navigating well, other times tossed about by sudden changes or violent storms. but we need the ocean right? for the fish and the whales and the water cycle. I wonder what global warming will do to me, if we were to -- say -- carry this crazy metaphor to the very end of the line.

my left fingertips are all numb from playing guitar. my addictive personality has latched onto the strings, the notes, the challenges of making this or that chord change just that much faster, smoother, more elegant. and i've figured out - mostly - where the words go. which is good. i like playing right before i go to bed. it relaxes my mind. not my body mind you... i woke up this morning with knots in my shoulders and a stiff neck. all in all, though, a successful foray into finding an activity that has nothing to do with work... except as a writer, everything ends up being about work, doesn't it? even this blog... oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to play gee-tar.

it's really freakin' hot over here. just sitting here i'm sweating. and it's 11:30 at night! crazy...

my goal this week is to remain calm. marcus is using "don't panic" but i'm trying to - as an actor would - choose an objective that is positive rather than negative. remain calm remain calm remain calm.

i don't really want to see anyone these days. i like being holed up in my apartment with all the things i like to do to keep myself company. this puttering eases me after a day of wrestling with words and numbers and computers (we had some trouble with the printer today, but i think it's all solved... hope... hope hope hope... guess i'll find out in the morning.) i don't so much resent demands on my time as feel protective of the time remaining to me, just me, at the end of each day.

i was so happy when you came over to chat with my parents on sunday. your smile, your warmth and generosity, the effort of crouching and chatting - all those things reminded me of why i hold you in such high esteem!

much much love!
adrienne

ps: i received my first postcard from postcardx. you may want to try it...