home for the holidays

welcome to christmas. time of spending. time of time. of not enough time. of too much time. time of wishing. of waiting. of hoping. of eating. of drinking. of sleeping at the wrong times and not sleeping at the wrong times. of wanting to be home. and being home. all at the same time. welcome to my christmas. christmas holiday. days. daze. that's where i am.

the light in calgary has been stupendous. slanting down in its winterly way. lighting up the smog trapped over the city in a thermal inversion. the chinook arch, majestic over the mountains, marching in like aslan's army through narnia. bringing spring and sprouting flowers and talking animals with it. ah... heavenly.

people here are not as i remember them. or rather, they are more than i remember them. i recall the sweetness, the comfort. i forget the impending senility, the second-guessing, the judgements and stereotypes. I look forward to the lobster on december 24th. are they, like jesus, sacrificed for the betterment of humanity. do those crustaceans die for our sins. or should their deaths weigh as heavy on our souls as our sins. oh wait, wrong holiday. please forgive me,

i'm knitting like a mad woman. tho right now, having finally rejoined the internet, i'm typing like a mad woman. like a knitter. quickly, with someone else's warmth in mind. but my fingers are cold in this chilly basement and i can barely feel my toes, so...