neurotic regret

now is not the time to be thinking about this. only three hours of sleep last night. lots of work to be done and zero motivation to do it.

the thought: power. the invisible lines between people. how do we give? how do we take? not wanting to hurt feelings, just wanting to protect my own. argh. a whirlwind in my head. just when i was feeling settled, like the winter had socked in, or a heat wave or something. now the storm season... is it back? or is this an anomalous event? a blip in the radar not indicative of anything? anything. nothing.

nevermind.

i need to take a nap.

-----post-nap-----

this ain't so bad. it just doesn't pay off. and i don't have the leisure time to worry these old bones.