and they're off

My friends Maiko and Jamie are leaving for the UK tomorrow. This makes me sad. Not for them! They are off to have adventures and to make theatre and meet new people and do amazing things. I feel sad for me. It feels like the most puny and self-serving of feelings: a tiny child's voice saying, "what about me?"

In the past month I've had to say goodbye more times than I like. I have no doubt I will see my friends again. I have no doubt our friendships will remain strong. But there is this fear lying in wait that *something* may happen. That *something* remains vague and undefined and therefore impossible to address.

So this is my new thing, my new way of saying goodbye: as the loved ones go, or as I leave them (which happens less often) I give them something. It could be a book, a CD, a note, anything really, just some thing. Doing this, I feel like I'm hopping inside their backpacks and travelling part of that distance with them. And when they see that thing, they will remember me. And that will, somehow, keep us all connected.